I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
