I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
