worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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