A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
