There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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