Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
