I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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