i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize