Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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