So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
