I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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