I have demons in me.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I don't deserve a penis
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
