you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
