so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
