is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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