i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
