can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
