We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
