Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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