Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
