I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
