I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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