An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
