Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
