i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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