well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize