but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she told me i tasted like america
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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