Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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