Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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