My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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