Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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