I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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