Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
