I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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