He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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