I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
