I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
