I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
