i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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