wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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