I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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