Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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