Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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