Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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