This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
