it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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