I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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