im about as happy as oj after his trial
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
