Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I FOUND THE LEGS
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
