Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
They took my balls.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
