That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
