I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
