It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
