I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
