What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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