Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
