i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
