so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
