if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
